Will It Ever Be the Same?

Warning: This post is about my (Kat’s) sex life. If you don’t want to hear about it, or really read about it, don’t read. Don’t complain that I didn’t warn you.

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So on my baby board I see all these women who have normal sex lives with their husbands. They even say they cant get enough. That makes me wonder, what is wrong with me? My husband and I have had sex 5 times in 6 months and he asks for it everyday. I make excuses like, no, I just fed the baby and it would be weird or don’t you think we should be sleeping since the baby is finally asleep? But really, I just don’t want to and I am worried there is something wrong with me. I guess I need to speak to my doctor. He will probably tell me its hormonal since I am still Breastfeeding or something though.  Also, I am on the Depo shot and I feel that it has affected me as well.

Dont get me wrong, I still find my husband attractive and he still makes my heart hurt to look at him sometimes but when it actually comes down to ‘doing it’, I am never in the mood. Its no fault of my husbands either. Like I said earlier, he wants it everyday. He still thinks I am sexy, he still admires my body even with the stretchmarks and gallbladder scars.

So I wonder if it will ever be the same and what I can do to help. When will my drive come back if ever and will I even want it the way I used to? Too many issues to deal with on top of trying to keep my supply up. I guess my husband will just have to hold out for awhile more.

I know for sure we dont want another right now. Even though I am exclusively BF’ing, I don’t want to take that chance so I really feel that the Depo is a good thing and I hope its not the reason I am having so many problems switching back to ‘wife’ mode from ‘mommy’ mode. I know the Mirena will never be an option for me because of cysts on my ovaries and all the problems my sister and friends had with theirs. I am sure it works well for some people, in fact, I know it works great for a great percent of women. Its just not for me.

 

Comments

  1. You are not alone! Sigh! But for us its both of us… in fact maybe more for my husband. I don't know the answer but keep your head up. Visiting from the blog hop.

  2. Don't worry, you're not alone at all! After having a baby, the equation isn't so simple anymore. Spontenaity is tough, you're sleep-deprived, you're adjusting to being a mom, you have a new person in the house with you, and well, let's face it, your relationship with your partner is different now. Not in a bad or a good way, just different. If you feel you need to see a professional, it certainly won't hurt, but please don't feel bad. What you're experiencing is totally normally, it's just something not a lot of people talk about. I was a little scared about publishing my post for the Breastfeeding Blog Hop this week, but I'm glad I did. Lots of women have commented (many privately) that they are going through the exact same thing.

  3. Well, the good thing is that you did "want" it before this. Your body will get back to that eventually and you'll want it again. I've never been one of the ones that wants it all the time, so it is ALWAYS a challenge for me.

  4. You aren't alone! I wrote about this too :)I think some of those women may be exaggerating because they are afraid something is wrong with THEM.

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