Did you know that bisexuality is fake? There is no such thing as being bisexual. Personally I don’t like the oppressive labels that most of our society uses anyway but let me tell you a little story on how I found out that I was “wrong” about being bisexual. I have a husband that I have been with for eight long years. I have three children including a 12 year old from a previous relationship when I was a teenager. I would probably do some pretty bad things for the chance to do some pretty bad things to Taylor Kitsch, Sebastian Stan, Jonathon Toews, or Sidney Crosby. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t do the same thing (maybe not the exact same things though hockey player butts…yeah, you get what I mean) to Angelina Jolie or Fairuza Balk. The fact that I am married to a man now does not diminish the love that I felt for the girl I wanted to marry. It doesn’t take away any of the affection that I showed past girlfriends. But no. I couldn’t possibly be bisexual. Sexuality is a ‘choice’ afterall and obviously I chose to be a straight woman when I married my husband. Obviously. I do hope you notice the intense sarcasm there.
I was floored when I was a teenager and I was told by my cousin that it wasn’t possible for me to like girls and boys. I was demolished when I was 12 and I was never asked back to my local church lock-ins because I told a girl that I thought I may like girls but that I still loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas. My cousin told me that I made the other girls uncomfortable by liking girls. I never went back to church. Being from the Bible Belt, I have always had the religion issue over my head. My mother even said it was a ‘phase’ back then. That didn’t stop her from not letting girls spend the night after I was caught in the shower (in our bathing suits I swear!) with a girl from down the street. My family just pretended like it wasn’t happening and friends of the family have given many lectures on how gays are ruining the world and are all going to hell. I have had people come to my past girlfriend and I and tell us that the church could help us with our ‘condition’.
Not too long ago I was reading a Facebook post by a lesbian blogger I know and I was completely shocked when she said she didn’t believe in bisexuals. This blogger campaigns for better treatment of gays that want to adopt. She regularly writes posts on her experiences with prejudice against lesbians. She doesn’t believe in bisexuals? Wow. I have participated in her campaigns. I have helped her raise money for her local GLBT events. I have written letters with her, tweeted her posts, commented on her articles, spread her message to real life friends, and I truly considered her one of my heroes. I really cant explain how bad that hurt me.
I decided to search for ‘biphobia’ on tumblr. Wow. You wouldn’t believe the stuff that some people say. Please look it up. I read on this article, “Bisexuals experience high rates of being ignored, discriminated against, demonized, or rendered invisible by both the heterosexual world and the lesbian and gay communities. Often, the entire sexual orientation is branded as invalid, immoral, or irrelevant. Despite years of activism and the largest population within the LGBT community, the needs of bisexuals still go unaddressed and their very existence is still called into question.” The BINGO I found below was on several tumblr pages. It had thousands of reblogs.
So it all comes down to how could I possibly identify as bisexual when it doesn’t exist? I guess I must be magical. Like all other bisexuals I transcend existence. It’s a pretty lofty thing to aspire to.
One of my fellow September mom friends, Tiffany Wollman, said that she has experienced biphobia as well. She has been told, “You are not Bi, you’re just greedy or too easy” She responds with the awesome, “No, I just have a wonderful ability to love a person beyond their gender.” **
I asked people on my Facebook page to share their stories and most of them follow the same thoughts as what happened to Tiffany. Many of them are in committed relationships and when they tell others that they are bisexual people do not believe them because of that. Either they are too gay to be bisexual or too straight to be bisexual.
Have you had an issue with biphobia? Tell me about it in the comments or send me a message. I would love to see if it is different on different sides of the country or even in other countries.